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Dear Neighbor:

I see you decided to get up this morning when the roads were clear and there was no snow, and park on the street, behind my driveway, with the ass end of your shitbox sticking out onto the road. Arriving home tonight at 8pm I saw that you decided not to bother moving your car to fix this fuckwittery at any time during the preceding 12 hours. Instead you allowed all our neighbors to pull in around your superior park job, effectively making it impossible for me to ever back out of my driveway again until Spring.

As a token of my appreciation, I hope you enjoy the 8+ inches of snow I've added to the roof of your car.

Sincerely,
the Neighbor who will hopefully be moving out tomorrow.

People often say things to me like: "Hey, I have a 60" plasma tv!", and I usually respond with something like "Wow, that's awesome!", having no idea just how big a 60" tv is.

Well, today we brought home (to the new home) our new 55" tv. (We had a coupon.) For those of you that still have normal sized televisions, let me frame some reference for you.

55" is 5" short of five feet.

This tv is slightly wider than your average fifth grader is tall.

That's right, my tv is Bigger Than A Fifth Grader.

For those who need more of a visual representation, I've gone and got a union member (he represents the Lollipop Guild. The Lollipop Guild. The Lollipop Guild) to compare to our new LG tv.