Just in case you're blind and can't see the title card, or you're wondering "Who made this piece of crap?", Gus Van Sant puts his name in the title. Convenience, people. It's the name of the game when you're making crappy movies.

That said, if you like mumbling ambiguity, try watching "Last Days"! If muttering and really lengthy shots of things like plants or the side of a building fascinate you, this is a flick you gotta rent!

Seriously, what is going on, someone tell me what I just watched. I kept thinking I rolled over on to the remote and hit the "mute" button. Then, just to fuck with me and the relative volume I'm listening at, Ricky Jay and Kim Gordon appear for fifteen seconds with some interesting, non-sequiter dialogue spoken in totally normal voices. And then they disappear. And something about the yellow pages and mormons? And Lukas Haas was a dick.

I was completely confused.

Save yourself the trouble and just download "Death to Birth" from Myspace or Itunes or wherever it is you kids are stealing your music from these days. Because that was the only scene worth the price of admission.