me: i'm putting my lottery plan in effect today. all i gotta do is win. then i get $370 million dollars, and we can retire to brazil. with a bunch of male models that we purchase from janice dickenson.

piehole: ive always WANTED my own models! can we keep them in stables?

me: i was thinking we'd just provide couches with plastic on them. but stables would be better. with pillows instead of hay. that'd be fun to play in. we could even have a plastic ball pit. seriously, if i win $370 million dollars you pretty much have to be my personal assistant. we could hire stephen hawking to homeschool your son.

piehole: dude. even just for the computerized voice.

me: that's ridiculous money, right there. it would be silly to not do retardedly irresponsible things with it. in fact, when i win $370 million, we can have a private jet with "retardedly irresponsible spending" airbrushed on the side.

piehole: ooh. can we have john travolta be our pilot? and maybe seats made out of baby seal? with rhinestones?

me: yes. and, i want throw pillows filled with spotted owl feathers. also, i want my bed to have those tiny 7" flatscreen monitors at every possible position so when i'm lounging, all i have to do is turn my head and i'm watching tv. or! no! i don't even have to turn my head! that's what i meant! the tvs are everywhere so that i don't have to strain!

piehole: HEH... YOU KNOW, [CO-WORKER] ONCE WORKED ON A HOUSE IN MONTANA WHERE THE BED WAS ON A PLATFORM THAT ROTATED! SO YOU COULD EITHER LOOK AT THE TV OR THE VIEW... JUST TURN THE BED!

me: meh. too "under 50 millionaire"

piehole: OOOH! WE CAN BUY THE WORLDS MOST EXPENSIVE HOUSE IN THE YELLOWSTONE CLUB! LETS BUY TWO!

me: the second house is only for our pets. people aren't allowed in. i really don't want pets, though. let's just get ponies. and the ponies can live in the second house. and when we get bored we can finance the release of a sequel to our hit documentary, called: "Pony House 2: Even More Horsin' Around"

piehole: HEY, MAYBE WE SHOULD JUST GET my little ponies! AND NOT real PONIES! NO HORSEY SMELL! PLUS WE CAN HAVE A MY LITTLE PONIES HOUSE!

me: or... talking robot ponies. pink metallic talking robot ponies. and the documentary can be called "Mrs. Ed: Back From The Barn." or: "Prancin' 2: Electric Pony-loo."