I thought my freakish elf ears made it impossible for me to keep your earbuds from sliding out of my head. See, the instructions said to place the one marked "right" into my right ear, and the one marked "left" into my left ear.

But you didn't really mean that, did you? What you meant to instruct was: "And by 'left', we mean 'right,' dumbass." Perhaps when you wrote "follow these instructions" you forgot to add "J/K LOL!!1!!" to the end?

You suck.

Sincerely,
Elf Ears