Congratulations. You're a moron. Unless you have something to do with the signing of my paychecks -- in which case you're very resourceful, sir. Good on you. If you're wondering how those dents got in your front bumper, it's probably because you park directly in front of the employee gate, which makes it impossible for anyone to go in or out without climbing over your hood. But if you want a name, I'll tell you who did it: It was Steve.