I overheard something at the movie theater last week. I was getting my usual (a soft pretzel), and the woman next to me was ordering a large popcorn with five waters. She had four kids with her, all appeared to be under the age of 11. And she said "Yes, water only, please. My kids don't like soda pop."

Yeah, right, lady. That's like saying "I don't get high when I smoke crack." They're bound to make friends with someone whose parents don't have the same agenda. And you know what happens when they get ahold of the sugar and caffeine. Next comes cigarettes, then pot, then heroin, and finally horse tranquilizers.