Don't let the title fool you. This is not about wacky Chinese college students getting stuck out in the woods and having to kick some zombie ass with a chainsaw. This is about vampires, and eggs, and small boys peeing, and rice, and talking about peeing.

I originally picked this movie off of Netflix because it has Gordon Liu in it, and I like Gordon Liu. (This is where your Poser Detector should go off: "What movies," you should ask,"have you seen starring Gordon Liu, other than Kill Bill?" I would respond: "Shut up." Followed by: "The reason I'm renting more Gordon Liu movies is because I liked him in Kill Bill -- is doing research a crime? No? Shut up again.")

This movie looked like it was shot by the Power Rangers director, while the Power Rangers television show was on summer hiatus. Only instead of cool matching spandex biker uniforms, there's a lot more talk of pee. The audio options were: a dub in Mandarin Chinese, a dub in English, and a dub in "Simple Chinese." None of these audio dubs matched up to what the actor's lips were doing. Even though I watched it with the English subtitles, it still bothers me when the lips don't match up.

Other than that, it would have been a good movie, except for the constant talk about peeing. Don't get me wrong, I'm not against scatalogical humor -- I just don't want exploding bathrooms in my kung fu films. I especially don't want to watch a ten year old boy give birth to a baby vampire. That's just bizarre.

By the end credit roll, I was left with many questions. My first question was: "Where's the rest of the movie?" My second question was: "Why is there a bunch of really cool shit happening during the credits that wasn't in the movie?" And my third question was: "No really -- is there more movie? Am I missing something? Like the rest of the movie?"

Some research let me know that Shaolin Vs. Evil Dead was just released last year, and apparently a Kill-Bill-Style part two is in the works. Well, hooray. You could have maybe warned me ahead of time, by, oh, I dunno, naming it "Shaolin Vs. Evil Dead Part One"? Give me a break, I'm American, okay? I can't figure this out for myself. I just get angry.