I know it's hard to imagine, but your state may be plagued by the occasional hurricane. Perhaps you should rebuild your houses out of brick instead of whatever it is you're building them out of now. I assume it's a special falling-down lumber.

Old people, especially, listen up: It's a bad idea to try and hit the early bird special when there's been three feet of rain. I'm not saying for sure that you'll get stuck in the middle of the road on the way to Shoney's, but it'd probably be better if you moved to Arizona instead. They don't have daylight savings time there. It's a dry heat. Think about it.