GEOGRAPHY:

"Ooh, what's that state? I recognize the shape, but what is it?"
"What, you mean Kentucky? The state right below us?"
"That's Kentucky? Wait, this is Ohio? I thought Kentucky was like... farther south."
"We ARE south. I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DON'T KNOW WHERE KENTUCKY IS!"
"Shut up."

"What state is Pittsburgh in? Pennsylvania? That doesn't sound right."
[Incredulous look.]
"Shut up."

SCIENCE

"Dude, I loaded this glass with ice cubes before I poured my soda in, but now the ice is melted and it hasn't spilled over the sides yet. What is up with that?"
"What is up with what?"
"Why didn't the melted ice overflow the glass?"
"You can't be serious."
"What? There was a LOT of ice in there!"
"It's called displacement. Look it up in a highschool textbook some time."
"... Shut up."

POP CULTURE

"Hey! I just realized that the 'Ed' character from Northern Exposure sort of looks like Johnny Ramone! You think that was intentional? I mean, the hair, the leather jacket--"
"The way he always wore a Ramones t-shirt..."
"........"
"Yeah, I know. 'Shut up.'"

NATURE

"Look! I bought organic lettuce!"
"This isn't lettuce. This is cabbage."
"No way! It's really pretty, ruffly, green, green, lettuce... Or... wait."
"Trust me. We're not going to put this on our B.L.T's."
"Shut up."