Despite my objections, and my intense deficiency at being able to do it, I'm going to try and knit again. That's right! I've gone over to the dark side!! I've sent for my old knitting needles from my mother. I told her all my pretend internet friends were to blame. She responded:

"Everyone around here is into knitting those scarfs that are all fuzzy."

So, apparently it's not just an internet thing. Everyone has lost their minds.