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Know what I found out today?

In Ohio? At 7:00 in the morning? IT'S BLOODY DARK AND FUCKING COLD AS HELL.

Way to save daylight with time, Ohio. Jerks.

Since having no phone, no internet, and no television, I have become really falsely productive. I accomplish a lot in my head, but not much else. A lot of planning, really.

Emails on the subject --

To: Me
From: Shawn
1) She blames it on acid reflux disease
2) "My dad was like "I'm sorry, you have to sing along with the backing track".
3) Blames it on her band
4) Her dad claims every artist in America lip syncs

Oh my god we have been talking about this all day. Studying tape,
formulating theories, etc.

I hope she goes down for this one. And what was that dance she was
trying to do?! You can't even DANCE?! Dating boys is not a talent!!

To: Shawn
From: Me

My favorite parts of this email:

1. You have been talking about Ashlee Simpson all day.

2. You have been re-watching the Ashlee Simpson SNL performance to "formulate theories."

3. You hope Ashlee Simpson "goes down."

Breaking News: There was a shooting tonight... outside the local hospital's emergency room.

...HOW MUCH MORE CONVENIENT DO WE HAVE TO MAKE THE CRIMES, PEOPLE?