Blog

For the uninformed, here's what's going on in my life:

I live with Lynnda. I sleep on her couch. We watch CSI. The End.

the one good thing about the new job: the vending machines here kick ass. i just ate a gyro, with actual tsiziki sauce, and a couple of those pink hostess sno-balls. i didn't even know they made sno balls anymore. rock on. that's seriously the most exciting thing i have to say about working here so far.

alternately titled: "How I Stopped Procrastinating And Learned To Love To Pack."

You know, it's very hard to put away clothing with no hangers (forgot to pack them,) and no dressers (they're trapped in the garage.)

It's also very hard to cook with no stove, no microwave, no grill, or no toaster.

You don't realize how convenient having heating implements is until you have nothing but a George Foreman grill and a crockpot.

All my new friends in town want me to go to this pseudo-goth bar. If I go I will be making fun of the young children in facepaint who sulk and smoke their cigarettes in a disaffected way.

After parking in what was described as "Indiana," I had to wait in line to get in to the pseudo-goth bar for over twenty minutes. I find strict parking guidelines, waiting in line, and having to pay a $4 cover charge VERY establishment... and therefore, non-goth. I'm retracting their "outcast" status.

I just realized tonight that I think I may be a curse on Lynnda.

I moved here, and,

• Her favorite bar announces they'll be closing, indefinitely, and moving to an undisclosed location in a few weeks -- but then there's a homicide on their front porch, so perhaps they won't be announcing where it is they're moving to.

• Club Nastyrack burns to the ground before we have a chance to get drunk and go get Nasty Lap Dances.

• One of her favorite homosexuals announces he'll be moving to Florida.
  

Do you have any more dreams you would like me to crush, Lynnda? Perhaps I can arrange to hasten the death of joy.

Hey, Bob? @y-miscellaneous different numbers-.com?

I'M SICK AND FUCKING TIRED OF YOU SPAMMING MY WEBSITES AND MT BLACKLIST NOT CATCHING IT.

Find someone else's blogs to infiltrate with online casino ads. YOU BASTARD!!

Please pick a fucking speed limit. On just this road, this block, it's 40 MPH. The next block, it's 25 MPH. Two blocks later, it's 45 MPH for about thirteen feet.

Your speed limit signs are only outnumbered by the amount of time and thought you put into building extra lanes for every goddamn thing under the sun. Extra left turn lanes, right turn lanes, lanes for carpooling, lanes for people who like the color blue.

Sincerely,
The Girl With The Michigan Plates Who Just Wants To Not Get Pulled Over By Asshole OSU Campus Cops