I bought an MP3 player. The last thing I bought that was this expensive was my truck. I can't remember the last time I've shelled out over $150 for something that wasn't rent or airfare. It's so expensive, I've been treating it like a pet or a small child.

Me: Hello. What are you doing?
Him: Oh, nothing, just--
Me: How is the Rio?
Him Uh, what? It's... fine...
Me: Is it charged?
Him: Yes. And I've already docked it.
Me: Is it working?
Him: Yes, quite well, actually.
Me: Has it said anything yet?
Him: Uh...
Me: Has it started walking on its own?
Him: No.
Me: Can it sleep with us tonight?
Him: Uh, no... listen... I gotta go. Dave is here.
Me: Don't let Dave play with it! He's not responsible!
Him: Don't worry, I will take good care of it.
Me: Okay. Don't let it stay up too late.
Him: Uh... yeah... Okay.
Me: ...tell it... ...tell it I love it.
Him: Okay, I gotta go.

We should probably name it before I get post-partum depression.

I like "sparky."