Blog: December 2003 Archives

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December 2003 Archives

December 5, 2003

Credit Limit Day!

Today I spent much monies on myself and on others in the spirit of Jesus's birth. I never knew that Jesus invented Mastercard.

Posted by BeaKaye on December 5, 2003 8:13 PM | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBacks (0)

December 6, 2003

It's An Honor

Today I was declared the most "retardedly outraged" person anybody knows.

Posted by BeaKaye on December 6, 2003 12:29 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Dear Neighbors:

I don't mind that you blast Tejano music at 6 am. I don't mind that you play it all day long on Saturday. I'm cool with it. I like Tejano music. It's like living inside of a Chi Chi's.

But I absolutely draw the line at listening to a Mexican cover of "I Just Called To Say I Love You." Knock it off.

Sincerely,
2-C

Posted by BeaKaye on December 6, 2003 3:06 PM | Permalink | Comments (3) | TrackBacks (0)

December 9, 2003

Bad day.

My dog died today.

Posted by BeaKaye on December 9, 2003 2:13 PM | Permalink | Comments (14) | TrackBacks (0)

December 10, 2003

Bad Day Part 2

What's that saying? Something something, hell fury, blah blah, woman scorned, fuck me in the goat ass?

Yeah, I think that's it.

Posted by BeaKaye on December 10, 2003 3:06 PM | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBacks (0)

December 11, 2003

I've Got A-nother Protest For You...

I hate that Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston are going to remake Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory -- even if they do cast Johnny Depp as Willy Wonka. I'd love to see twenty or forty midgets dressed up as Oompa Loompas protesting on their front lawn. Every time I think of irate orange-faced green-haired little people clammoring about their million dollar Los Angeles estate, tearing up the landscaping and shaking tiny orange fists at the sky, I cry a little.

Posted by BeaKaye on December 11, 2003 6:35 PM | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBacks (0)

December 14, 2003

Something's Gotta Give

You must go see it, if only for purely Frances McDormand and Keanu Reeves reasons. There's a lot of blah-blah old people talk, but seriously, Keanu Reeves is hot.

Posted by BeaKaye on December 14, 2003 3:27 AM | Permalink | Comments (7) | TrackBacks (0)

December 15, 2003

We're Sending Our Hate Down The Hole...

Guy With Camera: "Hey, what's your reaction to Saddam's capture?"

Me: "It's 'HOLY SHIT!' and also 'GODDAMN IT!' and then 'HOLY SHIT!' again."

Posted by BeaKaye on December 15, 2003 7:18 PM | Permalink | Comments (6) | TrackBacks (0)

December 20, 2003

I Have Made Fire!

Everyone needs to carry a lighter, because you never know when Jeff Probst will throw you off a yacht.

Posted by BeaKaye on December 20, 2003 11:26 PM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

December 21, 2003

Holy Crotch.

Tonight I discovered that my all time favorite beer, Rolling Rock, now makes a less than 3 carb a bottle brew called "Green Light." I have reached alcoholic heaven, and it is good.

So, speaking of the bar, let me tell you about this dumb chick I met tonight:

FUCK ME!

In addition to listening to her theories on the AIDS epidemic and starvation in the Sudan, I got to hear her utter the fucking words "Yeah, my IQ is 135, which is like, Stephen Hawking smart, but like, not as smart... I mean, I understand Quantum Physics..."

Honey, I know about the Four Noble Truths, but that don't make me Buddha.

Posted by BeaKaye on December 21, 2003 2:25 AM | Permalink | Comments (4) | TrackBacks (0)

December 23, 2003

Rock the... Something

Am I wrong in assuming that the Right to Vote means that I can.. oh, say... VOTE FOR WHOM I FEEL SHOULD BE PRESIDENT? Apparently a vote for a third party candidate is a "waste of a vote," because that person is in no way "guaranteed" to win. Isn't the point of democracy to vote for the candidate you want?

Posted by BeaKaye on December 23, 2003 11:02 PM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

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