We went to Toronto. It was hot. The humidity was 137%. Yes, that's right. With the exchange rate, the air was actually just water. We were swimming through the Hockey Hall of Fame.
WHY DOES HE LEAVE AN EMPTY DIRTY SOUP BOWL SITTING NEXT TO THE COMPUTER WHEN THE COMPUTER IS FOUR FEET FROM THE KITCHEN SINK?? WHY?!?!
If I ever need paper towel or toilet paper, I can gank them for free from work, because I have a key to the janitor's closet. People. I live two minutes from my work. I will never pay for paper products again!
I think boob crack is now my secret weapon. And my new best friend!
Bren says: did you go see pirartes of the caribeieam?
Bren says: braibei
Bren says: carrieban
Bren says: carribe
Bren says: carriob
Bren says: carrob
Bren says: carribou
Bren says: carrot?
Bren says: let's start again.
Said at softball practice: "Pain is temporary. Pride is forever."
For me, pain is frequent. Pride is usually misplaced.
Bren says: ALL CAPS FROM NOW ON
Bren says: TOO HARD TO PUNCTUATE
Bren says: I'M IN THINKING CAPS
Bren says: HAHAHAHA
Bren says: CUZ I'M DRUNK
Bren says: SEE
Bren says: DRUNK
Bren says: LALALA
Bren says: WOOBNITTY DOO
Bren says: caps is annoying
Bren says: i'm in tiny caps
Bren says: yalmukes, really
You know, sometimes I love Martha Stewart, and sometimes I just want to punch her right in the fucking face.
"Routine Cunnilingus" should be a porno about hot lesbian stand up comics.