Blog

In an effort to get healthy, today I went for a five mile bike ride.

In an effort to keep my sanity, today I decided to give up bike riding.

Why aren't toilet paper rolls like, a foot wide? Think of the reasons why they should be! Extra large rolls for extra large rears! Yeah! "Largemin!"

God Damn, people. I can't just keep handing these ideas out.

Earlier today, I heard an ice cream truck driving around the neighborhood.

Today it was 40 degrees outside and we had torrential rain for most of the afternoon.

I think Mr. Ice Cream is selling crack.

IF YOU CAN'T PLAY NICE AND SHARE THEN NO ONE GETS ISREAL AND YOU ALL HAVE TO GO TO BED WITH NO DINNER.

This afternoon Judge Judy said "That sounds like a lot of Who Shot John to me."

Thank you, Judge Judy. Thank you.

Today I went fishing for the first time since I was eight. It was fun. I caught a whole lot of weeds. Then I caught a whole lot of trees. A 15 inch bass jumped completely out of the lake about six feet in front of where I was standing, just to mock me.

"Ha ha," it was saying. "Your hair is stupid."