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Do not take giant Marvel comic book fans to see this movie. At one point, I swear to God I could hear a friend of mine masturbating. Or, at the very least, he was making noises that I associate with pleasuring oneself.

If you care anything about mother nature and global warming at all, you'll help me eat all these cows. You selfish bastards.

Bad Gorditas kept me from drinking, sleeping, and seeing "A Mighty Wind" this weekend. I'm going to sue Taco Bell. Mostly for the not getting drunk part.

I would like to submit a correction to the "New Cds" Review Section in RS#923. Mr. Peter Relic likened the band "Rooney" to that of a two-bit "Weezer." This is incorrect. They are obviously a two-bit "Sloan."

Sincerely,
Me

...stop singing your father's songs. I know you're proud that he like, created weed smoking, but seriously. I already have a Bob Marley Greatest Hits album. Write something of your own.

I've noticed that your new store slogan is "EXPERIENCE THE CREATIVITY!!!"

I am a little disturbed by how excited your company is about having me experience my own creative potential.

Next time, worry more about how you make it impossible to find the sewing machine replacement parts, and less about how much I'm loving the possibilities of yarn.