::ring ring::

"Hello. Gabriel Byrne speaking."

"Hey, Gabe, it's your agent. Look, I know this assistant casting director for some thing with FOX, I think it was 'Paradise Hotel', but maybe it was 'Married By A Midget' or 'Bowling for Coffee' or something..."

"I don't want to be on 'Married By A Midget.'"

"AH! Here's her number. Say the word, buddy, and I'll get you some quality reality show screen time."

"NO GOOD! I HATE MIDGETS! What else have you got for me?"

"A Stallone flick. About poker. It's bound to be good, Melanie Griffith is already on board as the love interest."

"Fine, whatever. No midgets."