McDrunky Drunk
- Skinny girls! Why are you all so ugly? You're skinny! You should be cuter! Do something with that!
- Fat girls! Why do you wear such tight pants? And such small shirts?
- Trendy bitches who wear hip huggers! So you have the $55 to spend on low rise jeans! Whoopee! Do yourself a favor and don't get the ones that cut off your circulation. Try like, one or two racks over from where you found the pair you're wearing. Blood clots! BAD!
- Seriously. What the fuck is up with the Mardi Gras beads? This is St. Patty's day, not Fat Tuesday. Get your goddamn holidays right.
- Women. Why does it take you so. Long. To pee? Why? WHY? I HAVE TO PISS, get the FUCK out of the stall! I don't care WHAT anyone says, it does NOT take that long to change a tampon. Furiously, let's go here. There are girls with full bladders lined up two deep all the way down the hall.
